I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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