we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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