No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
