i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
