I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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