Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
