Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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