I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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