i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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