I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
