Its about making memories worth repressing
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dignity is for republicans.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
