Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize