Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
