Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
