My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
