Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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