i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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