My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize