Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Farmville is her only friend.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
