I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I've blown a few things in my day
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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