Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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