If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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