so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Acid is not a monday night drug
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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