I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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