You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
