It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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