Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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