I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
