i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
