Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
