Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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