I wanna bring you to show and tell
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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