Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
