Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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