I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The ass gains better be worth it
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
