my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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