I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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