bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
there is puke in my bra ... again
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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