im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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