went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
