I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
