Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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