Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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