he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
