i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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