He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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