ugly people sure do ruin things
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
