I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
