he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
