Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize