Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
