Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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