I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize