he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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