But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
