In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
