im about as happy as oj after his trial
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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