I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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