my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
A bitchslap is in order.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize