even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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