Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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