I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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