Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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