she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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