Your mouth is God's brothel.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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