I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
