hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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