Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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