her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
