If i come over, it means nothing
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
