Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm getting married
To pizza
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
