these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
