Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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