wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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