found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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