Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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