just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Ketchup is God's man juice
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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