soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize