Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
