Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Enjoy the penises
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
