The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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