Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
