carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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