Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
